Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
