the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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