he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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