I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize