It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
