I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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