He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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