Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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