Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
