when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
