I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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