do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
