He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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