So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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