Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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