we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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