Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
