The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
