hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
