hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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