i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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