Whats the glycemic index on semen?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
