you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
