Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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