remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize