no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
