so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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