When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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