Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
