Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
