So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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