She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
