Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
