Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
