So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
