Please, let me fuck your mom
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
