You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize