Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
