She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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