In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
