Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
