Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
