You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
