Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
