ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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