Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
