he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
