end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
