I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm like, not good at living.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
