ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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