I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
