if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
