just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
