i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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