hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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