OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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