She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
