There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
