eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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