Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
