Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
