Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
